Ain't So Green

by Carsie Blanton

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1.
Promise 03:35
when we fell in love it was magical, magical stories came out of your mouth. when we fell in love it was typical, we couldn't see 'til we began to fall out. when suddenly, you feel afraid the things that you said could be making your grave. so you take it back, you take it back, you take it all back. you thought that our love was infallible, a calm you could keep 'til the day that you die. you fell prey to a dangerous miracle, to trust me so much when you couldn't say why. and what an unpleasant surprise: the truths that you told me have turned into lies! so you take it back, you take it back, you take it all back. oh, make me a promise that you can keep. well I love you so much it's illogical, but baby, I can't say that I always will. and I don't think it would be ethical, to give you a heart that may never sit still. so I read you a list of my crimes, I've stolen your comfort now hundreds of times and you want it back, you want it back, you want it all back. you say, oh, make me a promise that you can keep. Well, all that we're asking is certainty to armor these hearts that have never been safe, but I know it takes more than security to open a heart that is empty of faith. so I take you into my arms, confess to you, “I cannot keep you from harm but I love you so, I love you so, I love you so!” oh, here is a promise that I can keep.
2.
they can give you health (if you give 'em your money) they can give you wealth (if you give 'em your soul) they can give you love but hold on honey, it better be forever you can never let go. so, can I get anything at all for free? cause if it don't cost nothing then it ain't for me walking down the street trying to beat starvation, need a bite to eat just to stay on my toes. $7.95 now to get my ration, how to stay alive lord, nobody knows! once I had a love like a water fountain, filled me to the brim in so many ways. he said that I could stay on one condition, promise him my heart for the rest of my days. well, can I get anything at all for free? cause if it don't cost nothing then it ain't for me (you can take a bite when no one's looking. you can sleep a night when nobody's home. but don't tell a soul, cause if they know what's cooking they'll never let it go, won't leave you alone) can I get anything at all for free? cause if it don't cost nothing then it ain't for me
3.
well I ain’t so slow that I don’t know that you put on a show when I’m around. and I ain’t so mean that I ain’t seen the way you look to me to calm you down, but there’s too many ways to break a heart. there’s too many ways to fall apart. there’s too many things that I could do to let you down, and I ain’t so green that I ain’t seen the way love slips away without a sound. well you ain’t so bad that I ain’t had a thought or two about you in the dark. and it ain’t true that I don’t dream of you from time to time when we’re apart, but there’s too many ways to steal a kiss. far too many memories to miss. I’ll be at your mercy, babe, the moment that we start, and I ain’t so green that I ain’t seen the damage love can do an open heart. baby, give me everything you’ve got! pull me from the wreckage of the battles that I’ve fought. I haven’t got the strength to battle you, so maybe you could show me somethin new. well I ain’t so cold that I ain’t told you you’re the one I want to keep me warm. and I ain’t so dumb that I won’t come to you when I need shelter from the storm. and there’s so many ways to fall in love. there’s so many fears to rise above. there’s so many sorry stories written in my soul, but I ain’t so green that I ain’t seen the way love makes the broken-hearted whole. baby, give me everything you’ve got! pull me from the wreckage of the battles that I’ve fought. I haven’t got the strength to battle you, so maybe you could show me somethin new.
4.
don’t nobody tell me where he gone. cause I been gone for fourteen days, waiting on his smiling face. he loves me and he told me so, if that ain’t true, I don’t wanna know. don’t nobody tell me what he said. cause last I knew, he was all mine, so let it be and I’ll be fine. he swore that he would never go, if that ain’t true, I don’t wanna know. don’t nobody tell me who it is. cause I’d be in a jealous rage, when I just gotta turn the page. cause I’ll be fine all on my own, if that ain’t true...
5.
I dreamt last night you wrote me a letter, when I opened it up your words had wings. sad and sorry, need and forever, they seemed such frail and weightless things. you wrote, “baby, it’s been such a long, long time. you shouldn’t have left, but you couldn’t have known. but don’t feel sorry and don’t feel singled out, everybody’s all alone.” you said, “all alone we walk this world. all alone we pay our tolls. and oh, the pain we all endure walking around with separate souls.” so I cried a river for old regrets, my heart bled an ocean for days gone by. but when I awoke my cheeks weren’t wet and my lips were saying goodbye. cause you stand crying, tied and tethered to the tragedy of being on your own. but there’s nothing better than standing together when everybody’s all alone. all alone we walk this world. all alone, but always whole, cause all it is to fall in love is to remember the remainder of your soul. and there’s nothing better than standing together when everybody’s all alone.
6.
you don’t know what you do to me! you don’t know how I’ve been. watching you like a teen movie, feeling like a fool, but I can’t stop starin. and I don’t know what to do with you! tell you, ‘I like your style.’ but I don’t know how to get it through: babe, I wanna stay with you awhile. cause every little thing you do’s a reason I want you. and every little thing you say, baby you turn me on! and I’d like to say, “Okay,” knowing that you’ll be going on your way. but baby, when you go, take me along! you say you’ve got a heart of stone. you’ll pick me up and leave me crying. you say you’d rather stay alone. but every time you touch me, I know you’re lying. and I just can’t get enough of you! you warm me like the sun. you say you’ve better things to do, but I can wait around until they’re done. cause every little thing you do’s a reason I want you. and every little thing you say, baby you turn me on! and I’d like to say, “Okay,” knowing that you’ll be going on your way. but baby, when you go, take me along!
7.
Lovesick 03:21
lovesick and moaning like a puppy, I'm a guppy in the mouth of a whale. because it comes so quick, and never fails to shock me (hasn't got me, but it's hot on my trail,) and everybody has been there, so how come nobody knows where to tell me to go from here? nothing to say but, “baby, that's the way it goes. you're lovesick and tired of being lonely, and there's only one way to make it worth your time: just kick back, baby, and enjoy it cause boy, it must be better than just feeling fine!” so I'm lovesick, and wishing I could take it. I can fake it, but nobody's fooled, cause it's a hard kick, an elbow to the ego (where will she go if I can't play it cool?) I’m wishing I had a witness to all them pretty things he said! cause I just can't justify this. so how do I explain it to the voice in my head? who says, “you're lovesick, and might as well be frantic. cause nothing real's romantic, so you can't be satisfied. just stick to sorry, sad and hopeless, you'll have to learn to cope until you're feeling' fine.” everybody has been there, so how come nobody knows where to tell me to go from here? nothing to say but “baby, that's the way it goes.” baby, that's the way it goes.
8.
she said, “no, it isn’t feasible. no, you must be teasing. so long we’d been together then, season after season!
how could you go and snap him up as soon as I release him? I know I didn’t talk it, but I’d just begun to leave him. “well, I hope you had a good time! I hope that it was pleasing! you must’ve had an alibi, there must’ve been a reason. how could you both betray me? where do I begin believing? the only ones I trusted and you just committed treason.” it was a temporary lapse of reason! I said, “you know, we weren’t attracted we were just intoxicated. vodka and stupidity, they seem to be related. you say that I betrayed you but it’s not that complicated! it’s not that I was evil, I was just inebriated. “and you were crazy for your new boy, totally elated. I guess I just assumed that meant your other love had faded. I guess I should’ve known, but I had not anticipated that my irrationality would leave you devastated.” It was a temporary lapse of reason! well, time ran its course and (as it will,) perspective followed time. and with perspective’s soothing chill, forgiveness followed close behind. cause love and reason share one trait (I’ve recently discovered,) both may fail and fluctuate, but won’t fail to recover. It was a temporary lapse of reason!
9.
Time 03:05
everybody wants to do something big cause nobody likes to feel small. like the whole world is a haven for the lovers and the angels, and you’re the sinner in the center of it all. he was looking for answers, and he found a girl. so he laid down his questions and called her the world, and then I was the somebody sent in by fate to remind him that everything happens too late. and all I need’s a little time. every time it leaves, I think it must be gone forever. and every time it comes again, I think it’s here to stay. but the loving comes in from thin air, when the fear is finally ready and I wouldn’t have it any other way. everybody wants to do something good, cause nobody likes to feel bad. like the sadness is a demon sent to tear apart your daydreams, and it’s feeding on the life you never had. every day’s an answer to questions we can’t name. and nothing really changes, but nothing stays the same. so I am the somebody sent in to say that you hold the power to make it all okay, and all I need’s a little time. every time it leaves, I think it must be gone forever. and every time it comes again, I think it’s here to stay. but the music rises from the mud when the rhythm says it’s ready, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
10.
Wedding Song 03:30
his morning you sat in a kitchen chair remembering the life that had led you there. the beauty that saved you, and gave you the gift of despair. how the cost of lost love made you deaf to the things that could heal you, how it all came down to the day when you held him as close as you could, but his body was heavy as wood, and it hurt you to go but you knew he could no longer feel you. and all of the joy in you turned to stone. left you a specter of flesh and bone, and you had to submit to the sadness of staying alone. but the anger you felt was a satellite, and shot through the atmosphere burning bright. left you exhausted, and softened, too tired for spite. and one thing led to another, and one day followed the last, and it all came down to the day when he held you as close as you cared, and your body was lighter than air, and pure as the rain as you emptied your pain out into the past. and all of the joy you’d been frightened of rose like a halo to linger above. and you had to submit to the sweetness of staying in love. so open your arms to what love will give, say thanks for the good life you’ve come to live. for the sorrow that bows us, and shows us the strength to forgive.
11.
I love you so much that I feel like I've already lost you, and nothing you tell me can make me believe that you'll stay. I try to be trusting cause lord knows, I know what it costs you to be true to your lovers but never believe what they say. what are we earning? and what will it cost? we spend our time mourning for something we haven't yet lost. I made you a promise to love you, but that wasn't all. I'm ready to hold on, and willing to fall. last night I awoke to the sound of my own shallow breathing, said, “baby come closer, there's something I want you to know. when you say you love me, don't you mean that you're never leaving? cause when I say I love you, I mean I don't want you to go.” so what are we earning? and what will it cost if we spend our time mourning for something we haven't yet lost? I made you a promise to love you, but that wasn't all. I'm ready to hold on, and willing to fall.
12.
I sat alone on my front step the day that Jesus came back home. said, “Jesus, when I leave this life, will I have anything to show?” he looked at me and shook his head. said, “everybody wants to know. but if you’re gonna get to it, you got to let it go.”

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released July 21, 2005

Written by Carsie Blanton
Produced by Steve Van Dam

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Carsie Blanton New Orleans, Louisiana

Carsie Blanton writes anthems for a world worth saving. Whether alone with her electric guitar or fronting her four-piece “handsome band”, Carsie delivers every song with an equal dose of moxie and mischief, bringing her audience together in joyful celebration of everything worth fighting for. ... more

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